The Strand Book Store sells books by the foot for movie sets and people who understand books as burdensome but necessary decorative accessories. That’s all well and good, but what if you seek to do more than simply generically impress? We’ve got you covered.

With this targeted system of textual seduction, you can order any one of our four “trap an NYC intellectual” book packs available in “Poet,” “Marxist,” “Liberal,” and “Lacanian.”  Simply insert this stack of books into a prominent location on your bookshelf before you go out, and when you get home, watch sparks fly! Buy all four, or take the following quiz to figure out your type.